It only took 1 month, a turn of events unexpectedly to re-route my life in a different direction. The ripple effect of a stone thrown in a pond...with lily pads and a frog named Frankie :oP
There are a few things I am still trying to grasp, trying to understand, and trying to go with the "flow" of that may never be fully clear but as they all say...life goes on. We are all on a journey through life, a journey that can change in a split second, but a journey that remains in our control even after sudden events. I made a choice this month, a choice to help. Even though making this choice changes the plans I had for myself, actually just pushes them out slightly... I truly feel It is all worth it in order to help someone so dear to me. I get to spend more quality time with them and I will cherish it everyday!...I moved again, this time with my sister to Aurora. Our place is extremely cute with a two car garage, a basement, a loft, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. The area we are still getting used to, but its all going to come together once we get to know it better.
I consider myself somewhat of a selfish person at times. Awful to admit, but I can't help it and I know I am not the only one out there who is. Its a safety net for me to look out for myself and to take care of myself and not expect anyone to do this for me. Why? perhaps I am afraid of the hurt of disappointment, broken promises, being taken advantage of, my pride, or a lifetime relying on others...the list goes on. I have seen first hand too much heartbreak done to others by those close to them. People can be so cruel to each other. Its a scary world we live in. The true reality is, we need people. What is a life without the relationships and friendships we form within it? These bonds are what keeps us going. We trust, we open ourselves to people, and put everything we have on the line for certain people in our lives....a risk we take. With the good comes the bad, nothing is forever and nothing is guaranteed.
So...here I am 27, making decisions to better my life and work towards being successful. Just livin life for ME figuring out how I can give myself a better future, a secure future. Here are a few questions I ask myself all the time: (I am always thinking random thoughts)
- With divorce rates what they are, its so easy to do. Its so easy to give up. Its so easy to go against your vows and betray your spouse. If we live in a society where betrayal is ok...why get married? why risk it? What happend to the value of marraige? Can you truly trust that you and other person are on the same page, no matter how hard times get? Why dont couples have these conversations, ask questions, get marraige counseling before getting married? Is walking into a marriage "blind" to it's reality a smart move?
- Do you want to live to work, or work to live? How much is too much for success? So many people lose sight of whats important because unfortunately in society today you almost need two incomes to survive and live a comfortable lifestyle. Is the career choice you have made one that you can enjoy and be successful at?
- Do you have a place where you can find peace of mind when you need it? people need something in their lives to ease their mind when times get rough. No, im not talking drugs or marijuana or any substance abuse. People, places, hobbies. Whatever it may be have you make sure you utilize it often.
- Have you continued to set goals for yourself? without goals and passions in life, you might as well be a doormat. Have you followed through with goals you have set? don't just think by saying your going to things that it will happen magically...you actually have to work towards doing them!
Hope you enjoyed the pep talk! ok now with current events:
October, I am so glad to be OVER! most stressful month by far this year. Between moving out suddenly, getting into a car accident, having to leave for work for 4 days, trying to find a new car fast and having a car payment, dealing with the insurance company, catching up with work from being gone...yadeeyadayada I can finally say that things are slowly settling down come the first of November and I am hoping that things will start to look up. Hoping financially I can afford everything as well. Hadnt even been a month into our new place and now all of a sudden I am doubling what I was used to paying previously. Being I work purely on commission, this shall be a challenge but I will continue to stay confident. I dont have a choice but to make this work!
With all the stress, my boyfriend has been extremely understanding and there for me. It was the sweetest thing when he bought me flowers the day I got my car and the note with the flowers almost seriously brought tears to my eyes!
Its Election Day today and yes, I am sitting here in my loungy pants blogging and watching "True Blood" with my sister. I am so over the political crap! and here is something that will knock your socks off...I did not vote! Nope Nope Nope....so before you pick your jaws up from the floor ready to chew my head off I am going to explain my reasoning.
- How often have you made a big purchase and forget to read the fine print and then regret it after the fact? Well, in my opinion if one does not take the time to really dig into the promises of two candidates and their policies and purely votes based on debates and what they see on television or what they "read" in brief articles,or worse voting purely base off who they "like"... then we have uneducated voters out there jeopardizing the decisions for this country. There are many underlying issues and restrictions with every policy the candidates are proposing, if you havent educated yourself on these how can you vote on it properly?
- I am first to admit, I have not educated myself enough to justify putting my vote out there. I refuse to partake in such major decisions unless I take the time to properly research everything I am voting for. This is our Country and these decisions are important, with uneducated votes comes ignorance and just another reason for people to complain later on.
- Yes voting is a right, it is a freedom many don't have. More importantly it is a choice, I have used this freedom to CHOOSE not to vote for the good of my country because it is not fair for me to vote on things I am not well informed about. I blame myself for not taking the time to get informed, but at least I am not going out there to "vote" just cause I can without doing any research. I would rather see well educated individuals voting for this country.
- Our country has been screwed up for a long time. You can blame the current president all you want or previous ones, whatever floats your boat. Pointing fingers and pointing blame are what people are good at, makes us feel better right? does it solve anything? NO. I truly do not believe that this country can be fixed in 4 years, or even 8. Doesn't matter who gets in office. Ill sit back and watch the world Bitch once again once they realize their expectations were not met by either one of these candidates. People have too high expectations for our situation right now that disappointment is right around the corner!
- Overall, I want the truth...life is too short for me to waste any time clinging to opinions once they are shown to be wrong. Truth in politics...there aren't any. They tell you what you want to hear, all based in opinions and manipulated evidence and research to back it up. Dig deeper you may find the truth, you may not. I'd rather not be a part of it.
- Here is something interesting...regarding the votes for president, it didn't even need Colorado votes for Obama to get re-elected. Winning Ohio won it over when there was still Florida, California, Colorado and a few other states who's stats hadnt come in yet. Seemed like a waste to me, so again how did our vote for president count? Just wondering...
- So now that Obama is in office, and now that ppl have taken the time to read more up on his policies one being the Obama-care people are now scared shitless. Remember, majority voted for him. I am not going to sit here and complain, I apparently have no right to since I didnt vote but honestly at least I can't blame myself for voting this country into the shit hole. Haaaa! Either way I feel we would be screwed, but it is what it is. Life will go on.
I honestly cannot believe it is mid November now and Thanksgiving is almost here and then Christmas will be right around the corner. I havent even thought about gifts for anyone, not like I can afford them at the moment either, but geeesh. Can time slow down a bit so I can at least get my shit figured out so I relax?
Haaa! guess what? I am obviously behind on posting this cause its past Thanksgiving now. I had a great weekend aside from my awful haircut that I spent $100 on! Now I have to wait for it all to grow out again. This was my biggest fear trying someone new. Just gotta get over it cause I cant fix it right now :o( Anyhoo....the extra couple days off was much needed. I spent most of my weekend with John and we went to my Uncle Dan's for Thanksgiving then to his parents house. GOBBLE GOBBLE! We helped some friends move the next day and spent the weekend going to the Art Museum and enjoying our time together. Now its back to the work week getting all caught up and I am trying not to get depressed at this moment because I would love another day off! oh well.... Nighty Night Everyone!
