If I was smart...I would just keep my Mouth Shut

Ever have that feeling like people are taking advantage of your knowledge for their own benefit?

I am not extremely smart in many areas of life. I lack the ability to remember names ( celebrities or not), I lack knowledge in history, I lack knowledge in politics and the government because I just dont care, its all screwed up anyway, and I am horrible with dates. I'm lucky I can remember my own birthday let alone a date of when a certain event happened, major or not. I definitely have no smarts when it comes to fashion, I can dress well but could care less about knowing Prada, Gucci, etc...too expensive for my taste and normally I find them Ugly as hell so I stay away.

I do however have certain aspects of my life I consume myself in. And if I do say so myself... am pretty smart in. I am a very creative individual, always thinking up ideas, daydreaming etc. Interior design, kitchen design, and photography are my main areas of "drive" as you may call it. My weakness....allowing others to take advantage of my knowledge in these areas. My biggest fear is I am going to give away too much information and one day "my advice and/or knowledge" is going to wind up under some one else's umbrella with their name on it making it big time and Ill be sitting here pissed off at them and myself.  WTH!!

I love having conversations where ideas are brewing, doesn't even have to be in the main 3 areas I thrive in. The problem is, I take something and just run my mouth with how to make it better.

SCENARIO #1 - So lets just say Im sitting at a bar with friends and one of them starts discussing a future investment or business....here I go asking questions and then spouting off all these great ideas to add to this potential business/investment. Am I crazy!!? What do I get out of this? and if one day I wake up and all of a sudden this person is flying high with this business/investment that incorporated all my ideas per that one conversation....scary scary thought for me. If I was smart...I would just keep my mouth shut. Or just step up and stop being a pansy and go after these ideas myself before they get to them!

SCENARIO#2- "Hey, so I am thinking of remodeling my kitchen...you think you can come over and give me a few ideas?" or " what do you think about this?" or " Do you think you can draw something up for me"....and what do I do? More often then not I answer their questions and give them advice. They treat it almost as if, I don't do this for a living and its just a hobby and my time and knowledge is worth nothing but free advice. Next thing I know, my ideas are up in someones kitchen and someone else is taking credit for it.

SCENARIO#3-  "wow! you take really good pictures!", "How did you do that?", "what software do you use", "what camera brand would you suggest?"....suddenly they are inspired and want to be a photographer and start their own business using any knowledge they can suck out of you so they can replicate it. How about you do your own research on the internet and teach yourself like I did and put your own twist onto things? do I say this? No...I am too nice and give out valuable information about how I do things. Photographers have to be unique, giving out this information would potentially no longer allow them to stand out from the rest.The whole point is to utilize photography as your own unique way of how you see the world. So figure it out on your own. I spent many many hours researching and getting me to where I am, why give that information up to someone else who should be putting just as much work into it as I did? If you are serious and want to do it, DO IT... but don't be asking for other photographers secrets. Or if I was smart, I would just shut my mouth and tell them to figure it out on their own...right?

WHY IS IT SOO HARD FOR ME!!!? These 3 areas are my babies, its how I make a living...you know like all of us out there are trying to do. I take pride in what I do and its seems because these areas are purely "artistic" they mean nothing to the rest of the world...

I once thought being the "nice" person got you further in life. I am now learning its a target to take advantage of you. Its unfortunate. If I was not good at what I did, People wouldn't be asking me for my advice, ideas, and how to do things in these areas.

Its that Time of Year

It’s that time of year…Holiday season!

I am usually a very positive person and always try to look at the best side of things, especially around the Holidays. 

The Holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, family get togethers, gifts, great food, and comfort. It was for me all throughout my childhood.That is up until my grandmother passed away in 2007. I have never really talked much about it around the holidays but I do know we all feel it. My mom, my sister, and I…

The past is the past, you should leave it there and move forward and start new traditions right? Maybe one day it will feel the way it should again. Maybe one day it won’t have to be forced. Maybe one day we can spend the holidays with people we actually want to spend the holidays with. It doesn’t matter the new relationships that may have been formed or whose house we are at….it’s not with my grandma. It’s not at her house, it’s not her food, it’s not her presence who kept us all together, and it’s not her laugh anymore that always warmed our hearts. It’s not even with OUR family anymore. It has been divided for 6 years spending it with family we never grew up with that we hardly know or talk to on a daily basis and worst of all that we cannot connect with. 

There is always the fake smile on our face, once again. We will get through another Christmas as we have been. I am truly saddened by how our family got to where they are. I can’t help but miss the way things used to be and miss my grandmother. It’s been so messed up since her passing. I pray one day, we can find the joy again around the Holidays. I have hope, I do…it’s just been difficult year after year and we have yet to find a good tradition that can make us feel whole again.

I think of the families who still have their traditions gathering around, socializing, opening gifts, laughing…like it used to be for me. it’s the thought of those families that keep me going as if I am looking in a window and pretending I was there…feeling all of it like I used to. I am still glad to know that these traditions are still carried out by others and there is happiness around this time of year.

 

There will be families who are split much like mine, there will be families who find these times trying like mine do, but there are families who’s traditions supersedes all that I feel bah humbug about and those are the families I admire this time of year. 

So as we approach a new year in 2014, my goal is make sure next year is not only a better year but that is also a better year around the Holidays.

Love is Crazy

August 17th, 2013.....a date in which I made a decision, a hard decision to let go of someone I care so much about. Someone I love. The mind is a powerful source as well as the heart. When the two don't agree with one another, there is a choice to be made. Do you follow your heart? Do you follow your mind? or do you avoid both because that is what is easier?

October 16th, 2010. I was asked to be his girlfriend carved in a pumpkin. The sweetest request I had yet to receive at the time. This day, though I was not sure I was quite ready... I knew I couldn't deny this man and deny myself a chance to see where things could go. Little did I know, he would become my best friend, my supporter, my partner for almost 3 years. Never had I been with someone who's character and way of thinking was so much like mine. He is good, genuine, sweet, positive, smart, and incredibly forgiving and understanding in so many situations. Through losing my job, moving out of state, dealing with health roadblocks, coming back to Denver, and working through different living situations...he was there. He stuck through it all, we both wanted to push through it for one another.

Why you ask? Why would something everyone saw as so perfect and a man who would do absolutely anything just to love me would I dare end things so abruptly? who does that?...I know these questions will ponder in anyone's mind reading this. Many would have done anything to have what he gave me.

This is not the first time I have fallen in love, been in love, and cared for an individual. Since I was 16...yes 16 I have been in a relationship. Long relationships. Each one had its differences and my love for each one was different, but it was still love. 5 relationships between age 16 and 28. Just because you love someone, does not mean its meant to be. I am so grateful to know what love feels like. I have touched the hearts of these individuals just as they have touched mine. These experiences have taught me to know what I want, what to look for, and to not settle until I am 100% sure its truly what I want.

Both my parents are on their 3rd marriage. Many others I know have gotten divorced and then there are others in marriages and or relationships they are not happy with but are too scared to get out because they do not want to leave what is "comfortable", what has turned into their "routine", or most of all are too scared to be "alone".

Well, lets just say at 28 I am very determined not fall into this "trap". I fully understand that relationships take work, its not always going to be great. Given my experiences, I have learned this very well. This time, I had hope. My heart had hope that this may be it, that I can finally relax and let things happen and even though not every aspect was what I wanted, it was ok. I didn't need to worry about another "failed" relationship. I was accepted, I was loved, that is all that mattered right?

Here is the catch, my entire twenties I have been in relationships. I dedicated my efforts and my energy in those relationships and in doing so, the desire to just be "me" without any commitments was never fulfilled. I don't even know what its really like. I would never be able to 100% give myself to someone until I gave my heart what it needed first. My heart has been ignored for so long. In knowing this, and thinking that I could ignore it and it would be ok was never going to happen without serious consequences in the future. Unfortunately, the man who has given me so much and wants to just love me has to now suffer a broken heart in order for me to follow mine. 

Call me cruel, call me selfish, and call me an idiot. The heart wants what it wants. Right now, I truly feel that I am doing what is best for both of us. I cannot give him what he wants and deserves at this time. He deserves someone who is willing to put in just as much effort to make things work as he is. Our pages no longer match up. I have moved backwards and he forwards. This time apart is not about dating other people, or doing anything other than just being "me" with no commitments to anyone but my own. This is for me to just be ok with being by myself and enjoy some of the things I have neglected doing because I have been in relationships that required my extra time to be with them and put that priority over anything else. In the end, I know this choice is going to bring me to where I need to be. Its is only until my heart tills me it is ready that I can give 100% of myself to someone else.

So there you have it....I hurt the one I love, to follow my selfish heart. This is my honesty, I have nothing to hide. I write this only to allow me to look back on this decision, to document this time in my life, and give others a chance to see my side of things.

Love is Crazy, The mind is powerful, and the heart wants what it wants. If my heart is pulling me in one direction and my mind another, the best thing to do is to follow your heart until your heart and your mind match up creating a sense of balance and peace. That is when you will finally realize, what the right decision is. For now, I shall do what I intended to do and hope that I find my way.

Change....

I seem to notice a pattern about myself.

Contentment....Once a certain point is reached, where I am content and all things seem to basically be good in life with no real complaints I tend to sit back and evaluate where I am at. Contentment for me, tends to lead to boredom due to the day to day routine that has become life. Boredom tends to lead to me evaluating my life as to what change is needed to make it better. Evaluation of my life tends to lead to change. This pattern happens often for me, about once a year or so. The changes, may be minor but more often than not are pretty major.

This time around, I am not sure what change will be in order but I do know there are things that need to improve. There are things that I need to accept as "what they are" and move on. Only I can make decisions for myself to better my life. No one else is going to change for my benefit, only I can. People change....and I am one who is constantly changing and growing in life. There is always an opportunity to improve what is and who you are for the better.

I have noticed quite recently that when change happens, sometimes that change affects other people around you. Sometimes that change that is needed to better your life... by bringing people in your life closer... sometimes further apart. As my mom always said "everything happens for a reason". People are always going to be in and out of your life...for a reason. Life events always happen for a reason. It is all to teach you lessons, or to help you grow as a person.

I often wonder though...if contentment is more or less of an excuse for me to create change. An excuse to get away from settling for a life that is the right now. If I am not 100% satisfied with where things are headed, its not good enough. I tend to pull back, or pull away from what is the root cause of the contentment. I have learned to accept change and actually embrace it. I have begun to crave change. Why can't I just be happy and satisfied with being content? When so many others are so much worse off and would gladly take my place just to feel that? How can I be so selfish? Contentment to me feels like being in a trapped room sometimes. I have come to discover that I may never be 100% satisfied and I will continue to fight for what it is I am after..and you know what, I am ok with that because I always want to be doing something different. I will always want adventure and change. Wherever this life leads me, I never want to be just "content"

$50 Is $50

I cannot possibly sum up what I have been up to the past couple months in one blog post and since I have been so behind on blogging, this just sux...I have no idea where to start lol

Since my new job, I have really been enjoying life much more! Stress has subsided and I finally feel relaxed :o) A couple fun trips happened in April, a little weekend get away with my babe to Manitou Springs where we stayed in a little Bed and Breakfast place we found and just explored. We rode up to Pikes Peak on the railway, it was windy up there...and super cold!, we explored the downtown area a little bit, cute little houses and architecture! love that stuff!, and had some fun wine tasting and checking out some kinda boring ruins lol.
The couple who owned the bed and breakfast were extremely interesting, Ill never forget the fun story the old man told us after breakfast lol. I dont remember the last time I had "story time".

$50 Is $50

Morris and his wife Ester went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Ester, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.
‘Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,
‘Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.’ To this, Esther replied, ‘Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’

The pilot overheard the couple and said, ‘Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you!

But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars.’
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,
‘By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!’

Morris replied, ‘Well to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Ester fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!‘

I hope you enjoyed that as much as we did! Every time I read this story, I hear it in the old mans voice from the bed and breakfast lol


One other trip would be my trip to Charlestion to see my bestie. This time I brought my babe John! I had high hopes/expectations this trip, perhaps having high expectations was not the best idea. Poor John, the second we got there was allergic to something...the pollen maybe? who knows, but his eyes were watery, red, and half closed. He hardly slept the entire time and the weather was not the best as it rained a few days and was not as warm as it had been in the past when I was there. It was super nice thet day he left though! I stayed an extra couple days to spend with Ashley for some girl time as I know we both needed it. I'd also like to mention, I did get my starbucks Chai every morning as well as the most amazing vanilla bean scones which were sooo soft and scrumptious it could have been one of my most satisfying moments to be honest lol!

Our first day, we checked out Fort Moultrie and putzed around taking pictures of some great architectural elements. It was windy and not extremely warm, but since Fort Moultrie is right next to the beach at Sullivans Island we got to enjoy some sea breeze! The next day we did manage to get in our Harbor Cruise while the sun was shining and it was just John and I and another couple who were celebrating their anniversary. The sailboat we were on was small and the "tour guide" though monotone on his stories, it was interesting to hear where they got to where they were in life. Living on a sailboat. Luckily we rented a car for a few days that way we werent relying on Ashley to take us everywhere plus she was working as well. later that night after our Harbor Cruise we had a game night at Ashley's place with some of her church friends.

Sunday we had an amazing breakfast at Mercury bar downtown...I had Creme brulee French toast! Yumm, oh and a Mimosa lol. Afterwards we walked around downtown on first Sunday which is like a outdoor festival where there are street performers, food vendors, and restaurants who pull tables outside for eating. Ashley and John stopped for some smores which had all these different kinds of flavored marshmellows and these grahmn cracker cookie things that were to die for!  Took a ghost tour later that evening, first one ever...ended up to be more like a history tour lol. The College campus we ended the tour on though was gorgeous!! had I known about this college when I was in highschool, this would have been the place I would have enjoyed going to!

Monday, we made sure we visited the beach. We got to visit this private beach at Kiowa Island. I had not been to this one. It was a bit cloudy and breezy, but still worth it! This hotel called "The Sanctuary" there was gorgeous. We ended up taking some pictures, but did not stay too long before heading back to grab some lunch, I could tell John was definetly struggling. He was soo tired he fell asleep in the car. He had been popping allergy medicine all weekend. As much as I know he was trying so hard to enjoy himself, it was just not working. I felt awful he was feeling so bad. We stopped to eat lunch at this BBQ place called HomeTeam. There is where we saw the news about the Boston Marathon Bombing that had just occured. Thats a great way to put a knot in your stomach while trying to enjoy yourself. I cannot believe the violence going on in this world today...oh wait yes I can actually but that is a whole other discussion Ill save for another day! Unfortunatley there was no doing anything else after lunch but going back to Ashley's place and letting John get some much needed sleep. I woke him up a couple hours later to see if he wanted to go with Ashley to her Church thing, which he agree'd he would be ok to accompany me. He is such a trooper!!

And then, it was time for John to leave the next day. The weather was sooo nice! the best we could do before his flight is take a walk around Ashley's neighborhood. Little did we know we would run into a little pond with a family of ducks! the babies were so cute! It was a weird feeling actually after John left and not having him around, but the day continued forward. I got my hair done, we got lunch at Whole Foods surprisingly enough, got my eyebrows waxed, ate dinner at this Italian restaurant, then chilled for the night. The next day we went to Folly Beach and got some tanning in...aaah so relaxing. The night ended with a social gathering with Ashley's study group girls having dessert. And that was the trip! I left the next day...my flights were delayed and I came home to snow...lovely right? haaaa... it made for a very very long day.

I came home, feeling strange. Possibly because my expectations of the trip were not what I expected and out of my control obviously. This time around, the trip was different. It had a different vibe, a different feeling. Things just felt disconnected. I am not even going to try to figure out all the details of why I had this feeling because it could have been just the simple result of the cloudy weather that sweeped its way ruining my need for warm sunny hot weather and John not feeling well while he was there. Why try to read into things making it complicated right? Dont get me wrong, I did enjoy getting away and seeing my best friend, I just think I was more focused on other things that it was hard to fully enjoy it they way I used to. The good news is, after a couple days of being back I got a different feeling...more like a realization. My life is here...here in Colorado. I have a great job, a great boyfriend, a lliving situation with my sister that I enjoy, and even though I am not the best fan of Colorado in general I owe it to myself to just enjoy the things I have in the right now. I was so clung up on trying to get out of this place and moving somewhere like Charleston to be with my bestie that I lost sight of the great things currently happening in my life. I just need to make the effort to enjoy what Colorado can offer for now. I will move one day and settle somewhere warm and tropical but in the meantime~ I need to accept Colorado and enjoy it as best I can while I am here.

I took some really great pictures out at Charleston and after getting back, I was ecstatic to have the opportunity to take pictures for Little Jonah's 1 year as well as a Golf Tournament for the Mikel T Olson Foundation. Within that same weekend I was able to cash in on a Birthday present from John and enjoy a workshop with Mark Osler which was such an amazing experience. I learned new techniques and got confirmation that my work is definitley worth pursueing further which gave me a boost of confidence. I am now thinking of taking a few extra steps to better my business like getting Photoshop, business cards, and actually registering my business with the state. Last weekend, I was asked to take some pictures of good friends of mine for the Denver Derby with their amazing hats and outfits. We used the exposed brick wall in Jen's apartment as a backdrop and the lighting from the window turned out great!

Check out some landscapes I took at Charleston on my trip:
http://fritz-photography.smugmug.com/Architecture/LandscapesArchitecture/18655539_fCgXFx

Feel free to Check out Jonah's 1 year Photo-shoot!
http://fritz-photography.smugmug.com/Children/Jonah-1year/29309142_vVjvLp

lastly, The Denver Derby Photo Shoot!
http://fritz-photography.smugmug.com/Portraits/DenverDerby2013/29273028_6pwsSr

I have tried to fit in soo much in this blog post since I have lacked in the updates recently so If you made it this far, good job! Hope you enjoyed it!

OOOPS! I DID IT AGAIN!

New Job?

YES! Thats right, I took the Richmond job. Another job I can add to  my resume, I did it again! I have had a new job every year for the last 4 years. Am I proud of so many job changes? well, considering all these jobs are in my career field and circumstances just so happen to fall where they fell I am proud to be where I am actually. It is not everyday you have 2 jobs fighting for you at this point and I feel so blessed! My talents have proven that I am doing the right thing!

I was able to enjoy having a few extra days off during my last week with JM. I definitely took advantage of sleep in those days and taking it easy. It doesn't matter how scheduled I am at getting up early during the week for work, my body just loves its sleep so by the weekend I sleep in till 10 or 11...its fantastic actually! So needless to say, this time off gave me what I needed to have the chance to recharge! Life is good!

I started my new job March 11. I know now more than ever I made the right choice. Its going to be so nice having a steady paycheck, full benefits, weekends off, and 8-5 M-F all while also working in the design field. I am hoping this will open up more time for myself with my photography, spending more time with my wonderful boyfriend, and travel. There are so many great things in my future, I can feel it! Of course I choose the Monday after Daylight Savings to start the new job so not only did I lose an hour of sleep, I couldn't sleep at all due to the nerves of the new job, my supervisor was out of town, and I also got bombarded with JM all day from current jobs I am working on with them still.  Needless to say, first day had its ups and downs. Luckily I still had it in me to get new tires on my car after work thus ending the day being quite productive! I am hoping as we approach mid-week my body can adapt and not be so restless at night. I need my sleep!

I have to share that the weekend before my new job started my wonderful boyfriend decided to bring it upon himself to spoil me. I have no idea how I got so lucky with him, but I appreciate all that he does and has done for me and I only hope he knows how much I love him. He planned a day taking me to Comedy Works, a nice dinner to the Altitude Restaurant in the Hyatt, then we went to the 42nd floor to the lounge where we got a couple drinks and looked out onto the city. We had a great conversation as always then he decided to pull out of his pocket this bow wrapped box...with a beautiful sapphire necklace inside. Wow! It is gorgeous! I cannot wait to wear it! I am truly blessed in my life right now.

Our trip to Charleston is happening in a little over a month which I am completely stoked for! I cannot wait to see my bestie and show my babe around Charleston. I hope he falls in love with it like I have :o) De-stress is much needed for the both of us as well! We got a couple Living Social deals to take a 2 hour BYOB sail boat ride in the harbor as well as a fun little ghost tour around town. Its going to be such nice get away! To top it off hopefully I can get my hair done and eye brows waxed by Jamie as I have waited months and I have yet to find a good stylist here in Colorado.

I also need to look into planning a trip out to Indiana to see my girl Vicki for I have missed her and a few of my other girls out there. I think back to my year out there and I am so glad I did it. That is a time in my life I will never ever forget. That little small town did make an impression on me! who would have thought! I also need to figure how I am going to make all these trips works since there is already talk with my boyfriend to go to San Fran, New York, and take a cruise over Christmas. My sister wants to check out Charleston this summer and do something else, but honestly I am now having a hard time keeping track of all the places I need to try and go this year. I have lots of saving up to do! oh...and not enough vacation time so this will be interesting. Looking forward to finding a way though! Oh...and all the great pictures I am going to take, its going to be FANTASTIC!

And..HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Well, I must say my life doesn't seem to ever be dull. So far it seems ever since I got back from College I have made pretty drastic changes year after year. These changes are always a pretty big deal. I will fully admit having to make such decisions every year is getting exhausting. I would love to finally be able to plant my roots somewhere and just stay there for awhile and be able to relax and make more simple changes instead. Well, I am not quite there yet but I know eventually I will be. This year can mark another year where I am faced with making another decision that could potentially change the direction of my original thought out plan since moving back here to Colorado.My original plan since coming back was to work with this current company for a year or two, gain the experience and then take an adventure somewhere. Colorado is not a place I can or will consider my forever home. Frankly, I do not like this state. I grew up here, I should love it! I am far from loving it I'm afraid...

So, here I am a few weeks ago doing what I do best and trying to make a living at what I enjoy... I received an e-mail. This e-mail was a job opportunity, a company I worked for prior who came to me directly asking me to come back. Now before I get into detail let me give you the low down...

I am currently working on 100% commission however, I am designing kitchen and bathrooms and creating these great relationships that I LOVE! These projects are what makes everything worth while. I will say I am extremely proud of myself for taking a leap of faith and having the confidence to jump into this job like I did. This type of work I do is almost always a commission sales type of industry so It is hard to get away from that and I will fully admit when $ is good, its good....but when nothing is coming in, its bad. Even if you span your commissions out to compensate, sometimes still.....you run into a little trouble when you get into what they call a "Dry Spell". So, in case anyone was wondering...I have hit this Dry Spell in the last couple months. Even going through this, I continued to tell myself that things are going to get better because I truly felt that this year is going to be busy in this industry and with this company and I was not going to let this get me down. This type of up and down finance struggle is typical in the first 2 years of starting out on pure commission with a dealer so I knew it was not going to be easy. Knowing this, I was going to push through it like a champ!

Now, you can imagine....I was not looking for any other opportunity, but that e-mail fell into my lap just at this impeccable timing. This opportunity would still allow me to design, however not be as creative as I am now in my current job. I would not have the 1 on 1 with clients, contractors, custom home builders as I do now. I would not have the freedom to leave the office to go on measures, job sites, or shopping for finishes with my clients. I would not be managing my own projects but more or less managing Spec home plans and designing kitchen and bath layouts for a large home builder and picking out color schemes for model homes. I would have a cubicle, I would work under a corporate environment, I would have health insurance, a 401K, vacation, and sick time. M-F 8-5 job with a really good salary. Keeping in mind, I have worked for this company before, this company did lay me off at one point which lead me to move to Indiana. I did love my boss, she was great and I did enjoy working for them. The question is...do I want to go back? It is a great opportunity and the timing is unbelievable. This is why I feel like I should not ignore this offer. This offer financially gives me the ability to not stress on what my paycheck is going to be every week or month or if I am even going to get one! I also will have health insurance that I currently am paying out of pocket for that covers absolutely nothing.The problem...I cannot suppress my creative urge that my current job provides and I know if I leave this job, I am going to miss it in a way. All this time I have worked my ass off, building relationships I would just be walking away from....these are MY projects and I am emotionally attached to them. I don't want to walk away from my current projects or these clients whom have put there trust in me. 

Logically, I know what the "right" choice is and that is to take the other job opportunity and if I don't take it most will probably think of me as an idiot. I do not want anyone to think I am complaining either. I feel so blessed that both companies take pride in my work and want me to work for them. I have worked 8 years in this industry and I am so glad that my work is being recognized and appreciated. I know hard work and determination does pay off. I picked a very specific industry, a hard industry but you know what? I love this industry and I cannot see myself doing anything else.

In the end, I have to do whats best for me...right now. Do I follow my heart? or do I follow my head? It may come down to flipping a coin! Is another job change in store?

Stay tuned for the final decision!!