Change....

I seem to notice a pattern about myself.

Contentment....Once a certain point is reached, where I am content and all things seem to basically be good in life with no real complaints I tend to sit back and evaluate where I am at. Contentment for me, tends to lead to boredom due to the day to day routine that has become life. Boredom tends to lead to me evaluating my life as to what change is needed to make it better. Evaluation of my life tends to lead to change. This pattern happens often for me, about once a year or so. The changes, may be minor but more often than not are pretty major.

This time around, I am not sure what change will be in order but I do know there are things that need to improve. There are things that I need to accept as "what they are" and move on. Only I can make decisions for myself to better my life. No one else is going to change for my benefit, only I can. People change....and I am one who is constantly changing and growing in life. There is always an opportunity to improve what is and who you are for the better.

I have noticed quite recently that when change happens, sometimes that change affects other people around you. Sometimes that change that is needed to better your life... by bringing people in your life closer... sometimes further apart. As my mom always said "everything happens for a reason". People are always going to be in and out of your life...for a reason. Life events always happen for a reason. It is all to teach you lessons, or to help you grow as a person.

I often wonder though...if contentment is more or less of an excuse for me to create change. An excuse to get away from settling for a life that is the right now. If I am not 100% satisfied with where things are headed, its not good enough. I tend to pull back, or pull away from what is the root cause of the contentment. I have learned to accept change and actually embrace it. I have begun to crave change. Why can't I just be happy and satisfied with being content? When so many others are so much worse off and would gladly take my place just to feel that? How can I be so selfish? Contentment to me feels like being in a trapped room sometimes. I have come to discover that I may never be 100% satisfied and I will continue to fight for what it is I am after..and you know what, I am ok with that because I always want to be doing something different. I will always want adventure and change. Wherever this life leads me, I never want to be just "content"